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Friday, December 2, 2011

Santa's Workshop Inc

   When you think of multibillion dollar worldwide corporations, the ones that come to mind are probably Walmart, Time Warner, and of course the oil industry as a whole. But perhaps the world's largest and least thought of corporation is Santa's Workshop Inc., a privately owned company based out of the North Pole.
   The owners and founders of Santa's Workshop Inc. are Chris Kringle, aka Santa Claus and his wife Mrs Kringle, aka Mrs Claus who is understood to be responsible for human/elf resources. Little is known about the corporation. Because they are located outside the jurisdiction of any sovereign entity they have managed to avoid paying taxes in at least the last ten years. That includes taxes on imports and exports.
   Santa's Workshop Inc.'s primary function is as a delivery service of toys, holiday gifts, joy, and Christmas cheer, but it is believed that the corporation is also responsible for manufacturing the aforementioned items. It is also common belief that Santa's Workshop Inc is an NPO. If that's true then the real question is, where does the company get it's revenue? There is no phone number posted for the company headquarters so I sent Santa a letter addressed to Santa's Workshop Inc at the North Pole asking this very question and have received no answer as of yet. I also attempted to charter a flight to the North Pole but it appears that the only means of transportation to and from Santa's Workshop is by way of a reindeer powered sleigh which is impossible to get a hold of.
   With the financial state of this company in question, I can't help but wonder, how is the elf labor paid for? Company benefits? And with the current cost of oil, how can Santa afford to heat and run his factories. Clearly solar paneling is not an option. Mr. Claus must have some very good connections in some very high places to have been able to stay in operation for this long.
   Perhaps the issues brought to light in this column should be further investigated, but really what good would it do? Santa's Workshop Inc has been responsible for spreading joy and happiness for decades, maybe even centuries. Maybe its best to leave Mr. and Mrs. Claus be. At least for now.
(This article is not based on any factual evidence and is not meant to be taken seriously. Santa's Workshop Inc is a fictional corporation and any similarity this article may have to any real people or company is purely coincidental. Enjoy this for what it is... some good ol holiday fun)